Musings of Me...

Hey peeps!! I'm all in my feelings this evening, so hang in there with me for this post. I'll try to get through this without putting all of my business in the streets :)

Lately, I find myself asking two questions. 1. Aside from being the best mom I can be to my children... What is my purpose? 2. When is ok to say "No"?

Ever since I was younger, I've been a helper/giver. To some extent I didn't have a choice, but now I'm to the point where I do. It all began with my great-grandmother (who raised me and my little cousins until she passed), then to my aunt who tried her best to take on that role after granny's passing. After a while, I moved to Minnesota to live with my mother, brother and sister. Lastly, I'm happily a help mate/partner to my husband. I won't go into detail, about those times, but just know that I was consistently tasked with duties well beyond my years at stages early on in my life. No complaints here, because no matter how hard things may have been, I'm a better person today because of it.

As I've gotten older, I realize that people basically define me as a helper/giver. Not in their words, but in their actions.

I'm aware that life requires assistance. No one moves through completely alone, no matter what people think. And I don't mind lending a helping hand every now and then. I've been blessed to have a foundation of love, hard work, patience & empathy. I also understand, with that comes a bit of responsibility. People gravitate towards me for help. No matter if it's monetary, "Lemmie hold sumthin". Emotional, "Gurl, let me tell you what he did!!". Physical, "I need a ride". Or requires my time, "Can you watch my kids?", just to name a few examples.

This brings me to question #1. My purpose. Because helping feels like second nature to me, and I almost have to talk myself out of it sometimes, is it what I'm supposed to do? Yes, I get tired. To be honest, I don't even want to answer my phone sometimes! But really. Is that what I'm here for? To help others? I know that we all should to a certain extent, but c'mon!! Y'all just don't know! I struggle with this daily. Well, maybe daily is an exaggeration, but for sure it's more than a few times a week. There's always something.

And if I am here to help others, when does that help become enabling? Question #2. When is ok to say "No"? Time is my most precious asset. The time that I spend with my husband and children is beyond measure. It's the one thing that I can't have back. Once time is spent, it's gone. When someone needs me to take them somewhere, pick them up, spend two hours on the phone, watch their children, etc., it takes me away from my peeps at home.

Now, don't get me wrong! Momma needs time to herself!! I also need time with friends, and family, but this different. Again. When is it ok to say no? Mostly when someone needs my time in the ways that I've described, it's an urgent matter. But, have I allowed this to happen so much that it's expected of me? Like, do people allow themselves to get caught up, or make plans with no regard because they know that I'll be there? That's enabling, right? Again, I struggle with this.

Then on the other hand, I love to feel needed. When my husband and kids need me, it's the best feeling in the world! Well, most of the time. When I'm in the bathroom and all I want to do is sit there and scroll through my phone, then I hear my name, or "MOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!" being yelled through the house, I cringe a little bit. But y'all know what I'm saying.

So this makes me wonder, do I help others because of my want to be needed? Placing blame can be easy sometimes. Way easier than looking inside and realizing that the fault lies within you. I've said it three times already. I struggle. #teambrokenrecord

I don't have the answers. I used this post as a way to ask some questions out loud so I didn't have to talk to myself and look like a crazy person. Thank you for reading, or just looking at the pictures. Either way, I know it was a lot & I appreciate cha! :)

Until next time...

Faux Leather Peplum Biker Jacket - SimplyBe
Crop Top - A store in "The Underground" in Atlanta (not sure of the name)
Dress (worn as a skirt) - H&M
Boots - Minnetonka Moccasin
Bag - Coach

Casual Weekends...

Happy weekend!! I know there are folks out there who don't care about weekends because either they work straight through them and have other days off throughout the week, or their are people who work for themselves, so they're always working. Not the case for me. I have a 9-5 (well, really a 7:30-4pm), and it's Monday - Friday. I can't stress enough how much I cherish weekends.

I do as little as I want, or as much as I can squeeze in (usually the latter). I spend time at home, in my yard, with my family, eating good food, having a drank, just lounging. You know. Whatever. 

Anyhoo, on to the OOTD. I wore this on Mother's Day. Oh Lawd! Where are my manners?! Even though I'm a week late, I hope that you all enjoyed Mother's Day. No matter if you're a mother, or if you know a mother, I hope you had a lovely day. Now, on to the OOTD.

I'm all about this dress! It's made from jersey fabric, and I can't even tell you how comfy it is. It's fairly shapeless, and I purchased it a size too big (on purpose) to achieve this look. My normal style is casual and cool.  I like to throw on an outfit and go. No shapers, no Spanx, no fuss.

I can't remember if I have shown my cute little boat shoes on the blog before. I've had them for quite a few years. They were originally purchased for my daughter, but she didn't like them. I was actually happy that she didn't because that meant they were ALL MINE! Score!

I recently read a blog post that listed Coach purses/bags as a terrible trend that needed to never come back again. I'm not sure how many feel that way, and I guess I'm hard pressed to say that I care. I love my bag(s) and I will rock them until the wheels fall off. Being that I have been buying and wearing them since I was a teenager, it's not a trend for me. My mother and aunts all wore Coach, and as a kid I can remember wanting all of their bags. So for me, it's COACH TILL THE WORLD BLOW UP!!! (not everyone will get that gang reference, and I'm cool with that, Ha!)

Until next time...

Denim Jacket - Rue 21

Dress - Target

Bag - Coach

Shoes - JC Penny

The Blues...

For the past month our Mac has been on the fritz. We have iPads, and iPhones in our home, but there's nothing like our beloved computer. But now she's back, she's fixed, and all is right with the world. Well, maybe not the world per se, but all is right in the Buchanan household. And you know what else?! I get to blog!! Believe me, I tried to do it from the iPad, but it just wasn't the same :(

If you hang out with me on Instagram, or Facebook, you've already seen these outfits. It's cool though.

Simply Be USA sent me a pair of Joe Browns Boyfriend Jeans. I had never purchased boyfriend jeans before because every pair that I tried up until this point had a weird fit. I thought that I would have to pass on this particular style because it just didn't work for me. When I put them on, they didn't look like all of the pics that I had seen of other plus size ladies who looked so cute in theirs!  Either they were too big in the waist, or too tight in the thigh area. A lot of them were also too long, or saggy in the crotch area. Lawd knows I can't stand jeans with a saggy crotch area! Ugh!

Anyhoo, these jeans are FAB! While they do have a bit of a gap in the back, they still sit up on my hips, and they are roomy throughout the thigh area.

I wore them to a Paint & Sip outing with my family and the outfit came out super cute.  I wanted to be casual and comfy, and I was just that. I decided to throw on a statement necklace as the focal point... and WAH-LAH! Don't you just love it when an outfit comes together just like you saw it in your head?! :)

Later on that evening, I decided to switch it up to see if I could wear the jeans with heels for a more dinner and cocktails casual look. Again, my outfit came together just how I imagined it. Not too dressy, not too casual. I just love these jeans! 

I am a minimalist when it comes to accessories, so I just added a little bracelet and a pair of black hoop earrings. My handy dandy blue clutch was perfect.

Have you tried your hand at Boyfriend Jeans? How did it turn out for you? What brand of jeans would you recommend?

My finished painting from the Paint & Sip event. I like it!! :)

Until next time...

Top - Target (Old)

Jeans - Simply Be USA

Clutch - Darby Smart

Heels - Madden Girl - DSW

Makin' it Work...

Happy Sunday peeps!! I hope you are all enjoying your weekends, and if you have tomorrow off, enjoy that too! It seems like forever since I've taken blog pics! The evenings have seemed to fly by for the last week or so. I have so many of my favorite blogs to catch up on. Lots of commenting to come! =D

I am so proud of myself for the outfit below. The skirt is a quick DIY. Not a project, just an alteration. This skirt used to be a dress. I bought it from Old Navy (on clearance of course) because I wanted to get in on the floral trend. I wasn't sure if I could get in on this particular trend because florals all over the place just aren't my thing. But this dress had just the perfect amount of flowers on it for me.

I got the dress home and tried it on, only to find out that the chest was not roomy enough. It sat in my closet until this weekend when I look at it and thought to myself... "I may as well donate it." I decided to tried it on again. This time, without pulling the top part over my neck. Wah-lah!!! I couldn't find a pair of scissors fast enough! I cut off the top portion of the dress, and with the help of my daughter and her sewing machine, there you have it! A cute skirt.

This experience taught me, just because that's the way it is in the store, it doesn't have to be the way you wear it. Make it work for you.

Until next time...

Tee - Dots

Dress turned skirt - Old Navy

Coach wedges - Herbergers