Musings of Me...

Hey peeps!! I'm all in my feelings this evening, so hang in there with me for this post. I'll try to get through this without putting all of my business in the streets :)

Lately, I find myself asking two questions. 1. Aside from being the best mom I can be to my children... What is my purpose? 2. When is ok to say "No"?

Ever since I was younger, I've been a helper/giver. To some extent I didn't have a choice, but now I'm to the point where I do. It all began with my great-grandmother (who raised me and my little cousins until she passed), then to my aunt who tried her best to take on that role after granny's passing. After a while, I moved to Minnesota to live with my mother, brother and sister. Lastly, I'm happily a help mate/partner to my husband. I won't go into detail, about those times, but just know that I was consistently tasked with duties well beyond my years at stages early on in my life. No complaints here, because no matter how hard things may have been, I'm a better person today because of it.

As I've gotten older, I realize that people basically define me as a helper/giver. Not in their words, but in their actions.

I'm aware that life requires assistance. No one moves through completely alone, no matter what people think. And I don't mind lending a helping hand every now and then. I've been blessed to have a foundation of love, hard work, patience & empathy. I also understand, with that comes a bit of responsibility. People gravitate towards me for help. No matter if it's monetary, "Lemmie hold sumthin". Emotional, "Gurl, let me tell you what he did!!". Physical, "I need a ride". Or requires my time, "Can you watch my kids?", just to name a few examples.

This brings me to question #1. My purpose. Because helping feels like second nature to me, and I almost have to talk myself out of it sometimes, is it what I'm supposed to do? Yes, I get tired. To be honest, I don't even want to answer my phone sometimes! But really. Is that what I'm here for? To help others? I know that we all should to a certain extent, but c'mon!! Y'all just don't know! I struggle with this daily. Well, maybe daily is an exaggeration, but for sure it's more than a few times a week. There's always something.

And if I am here to help others, when does that help become enabling? Question #2. When is ok to say "No"? Time is my most precious asset. The time that I spend with my husband and children is beyond measure. It's the one thing that I can't have back. Once time is spent, it's gone. When someone needs me to take them somewhere, pick them up, spend two hours on the phone, watch their children, etc., it takes me away from my peeps at home.

Now, don't get me wrong! Momma needs time to herself!! I also need time with friends, and family, but this different. Again. When is it ok to say no? Mostly when someone needs my time in the ways that I've described, it's an urgent matter. But, have I allowed this to happen so much that it's expected of me? Like, do people allow themselves to get caught up, or make plans with no regard because they know that I'll be there? That's enabling, right? Again, I struggle with this.

Then on the other hand, I love to feel needed. When my husband and kids need me, it's the best feeling in the world! Well, most of the time. When I'm in the bathroom and all I want to do is sit there and scroll through my phone, then I hear my name, or "MOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!" being yelled through the house, I cringe a little bit. But y'all know what I'm saying.

So this makes me wonder, do I help others because of my want to be needed? Placing blame can be easy sometimes. Way easier than looking inside and realizing that the fault lies within you. I've said it three times already. I struggle. #teambrokenrecord

I don't have the answers. I used this post as a way to ask some questions out loud so I didn't have to talk to myself and look like a crazy person. Thank you for reading, or just looking at the pictures. Either way, I know it was a lot & I appreciate cha! :)

Until next time...

Faux Leather Peplum Biker Jacket - SimplyBe
Crop Top - A store in "The Underground" in Atlanta (not sure of the name)
Dress (worn as a skirt) - H&M
Boots - Minnetonka Moccasin
Bag - Coach

The Blues...

For the past month our Mac has been on the fritz. We have iPads, and iPhones in our home, but there's nothing like our beloved computer. But now she's back, she's fixed, and all is right with the world. Well, maybe not the world per se, but all is right in the Buchanan household. And you know what else?! I get to blog!! Believe me, I tried to do it from the iPad, but it just wasn't the same :(

If you hang out with me on Instagram, or Facebook, you've already seen these outfits. It's cool though.

Simply Be USA sent me a pair of Joe Browns Boyfriend Jeans. I had never purchased boyfriend jeans before because every pair that I tried up until this point had a weird fit. I thought that I would have to pass on this particular style because it just didn't work for me. When I put them on, they didn't look like all of the pics that I had seen of other plus size ladies who looked so cute in theirs!  Either they were too big in the waist, or too tight in the thigh area. A lot of them were also too long, or saggy in the crotch area. Lawd knows I can't stand jeans with a saggy crotch area! Ugh!

Anyhoo, these jeans are FAB! While they do have a bit of a gap in the back, they still sit up on my hips, and they are roomy throughout the thigh area.

I wore them to a Paint & Sip outing with my family and the outfit came out super cute.  I wanted to be casual and comfy, and I was just that. I decided to throw on a statement necklace as the focal point... and WAH-LAH! Don't you just love it when an outfit comes together just like you saw it in your head?! :)

Later on that evening, I decided to switch it up to see if I could wear the jeans with heels for a more dinner and cocktails casual look. Again, my outfit came together just how I imagined it. Not too dressy, not too casual. I just love these jeans! 

I am a minimalist when it comes to accessories, so I just added a little bracelet and a pair of black hoop earrings. My handy dandy blue clutch was perfect.

Have you tried your hand at Boyfriend Jeans? How did it turn out for you? What brand of jeans would you recommend?

My finished painting from the Paint & Sip event. I like it!! :)

Until next time...

Top - Target (Old)

Jeans - Simply Be USA

Clutch - Darby Smart

Heels - Madden Girl - DSW

Busy Body...

Happy Sunday! Spring has finally arrived! Well not so much here, but I've enjoyed seeing the pics and posts of you guys enjoying the warmer temps and sunshine in your neck of the woods. Minnesota is always a little late to the party, but we'll be there soon enough. 

Back in December, I participated in a Twitter chat hosted by Alissa of Stylish Curves & Simply Be (click the link for the dress). By using the hashtag #HolidayCurves during the chat, I won the chance to choose a dress from the Simply Be site. I chose this cute little number. Although my eye was drawn to the dress, I was hesitant to order it because there's a lot going on! Normally when I wear a pattern, it's usually stripes, and maybe a little leopard when I want to call myself pattern mixing. 

I stared at the dress on the site for a little bit, then said, "Why not?!". I placed the order and anxiously waited for it to arrive. I have to be honest and say, when I took it out of the packaging, I wasn't impressed. I held it up to my body, and thought that it wouldn't look good on me. The dress looked lifeless.

Let me tell you. I couldn't have been more wrong. I put the dress on and BOOM!! Instant sexy! I fell in love with the colors, the material, the length, the fit, and the way that it laid over my curves. It was the perfect example of the saying, "Wear the clothes, don't let the clothes wear you".

I couldn't wait to style it, and take pics! Now I can't wait to wear it for a night on the town with my girls or with the hubby.

I decided to keep accessories to a minimum since I felt like such a busy body in the dress. I could have done a black clutch, but that's no fun. I pulled out my pink one since there's pink in the dress. But the way I see it, the possibilities are endless for color pairings.

These ankle strap Sam Libby heels from Target are the bizness!! I copped them on clearance about a month or so ago, and I'm swooning over them! They aren't too high, and they're just the right amount of sexy to pair with this dress.

Until next time...

Dress - Simply Be

Shoes - Target

Clutch - JC Penny