Musings of Me...

Hey peeps!! I'm all in my feelings this evening, so hang in there with me for this post. I'll try to get through this without putting all of my business in the streets :)

Lately, I find myself asking two questions. 1. Aside from being the best mom I can be to my children... What is my purpose? 2. When is ok to say "No"?

Ever since I was younger, I've been a helper/giver. To some extent I didn't have a choice, but now I'm to the point where I do. It all began with my great-grandmother (who raised me and my little cousins until she passed), then to my aunt who tried her best to take on that role after granny's passing. After a while, I moved to Minnesota to live with my mother, brother and sister. Lastly, I'm happily a help mate/partner to my husband. I won't go into detail, about those times, but just know that I was consistently tasked with duties well beyond my years at stages early on in my life. No complaints here, because no matter how hard things may have been, I'm a better person today because of it.

As I've gotten older, I realize that people basically define me as a helper/giver. Not in their words, but in their actions.

I'm aware that life requires assistance. No one moves through completely alone, no matter what people think. And I don't mind lending a helping hand every now and then. I've been blessed to have a foundation of love, hard work, patience & empathy. I also understand, with that comes a bit of responsibility. People gravitate towards me for help. No matter if it's monetary, "Lemmie hold sumthin". Emotional, "Gurl, let me tell you what he did!!". Physical, "I need a ride". Or requires my time, "Can you watch my kids?", just to name a few examples.

This brings me to question #1. My purpose. Because helping feels like second nature to me, and I almost have to talk myself out of it sometimes, is it what I'm supposed to do? Yes, I get tired. To be honest, I don't even want to answer my phone sometimes! But really. Is that what I'm here for? To help others? I know that we all should to a certain extent, but c'mon!! Y'all just don't know! I struggle with this daily. Well, maybe daily is an exaggeration, but for sure it's more than a few times a week. There's always something.

And if I am here to help others, when does that help become enabling? Question #2. When is ok to say "No"? Time is my most precious asset. The time that I spend with my husband and children is beyond measure. It's the one thing that I can't have back. Once time is spent, it's gone. When someone needs me to take them somewhere, pick them up, spend two hours on the phone, watch their children, etc., it takes me away from my peeps at home.

Now, don't get me wrong! Momma needs time to herself!! I also need time with friends, and family, but this different. Again. When is it ok to say no? Mostly when someone needs my time in the ways that I've described, it's an urgent matter. But, have I allowed this to happen so much that it's expected of me? Like, do people allow themselves to get caught up, or make plans with no regard because they know that I'll be there? That's enabling, right? Again, I struggle with this.

Then on the other hand, I love to feel needed. When my husband and kids need me, it's the best feeling in the world! Well, most of the time. When I'm in the bathroom and all I want to do is sit there and scroll through my phone, then I hear my name, or "MOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!" being yelled through the house, I cringe a little bit. But y'all know what I'm saying.

So this makes me wonder, do I help others because of my want to be needed? Placing blame can be easy sometimes. Way easier than looking inside and realizing that the fault lies within you. I've said it three times already. I struggle. #teambrokenrecord

I don't have the answers. I used this post as a way to ask some questions out loud so I didn't have to talk to myself and look like a crazy person. Thank you for reading, or just looking at the pictures. Either way, I know it was a lot & I appreciate cha! :)

Until next time...

Faux Leather Peplum Biker Jacket - SimplyBe
Crop Top - A store in "The Underground" in Atlanta (not sure of the name)
Dress (worn as a skirt) - H&M
Boots - Minnetonka Moccasin
Bag - Coach

Give Me Body...

It's the weekend baaaaayyyybaaayyyyy!! I usually use for my Instagram peeps for Friday posts. Just thought I'd share :)

To kick the weekend off around my way, I wanted to talk a little about style inspiration. For me, it can come from anywhere/anything. From an item of clothing in my closet, to someone walking down the street, to colors in a magazine. Many times it comes from perusing the internets. Yes, I said internets with an S.

On this particular day, I happened to be scrolling down my IG feed when I saw this lovely lady. I follow In My Joi on Instagram because she has some of the coolest outfits. But this pic made me want a little black dress. Not just any LBD, but one that fit me like a glove. One that gave BODY!! You could say that I was inspired. From that moment, I was on the hunt for a perfect LBD. Not so I could copy, or look like her (no shade, because Joi is fierce), but so I could feel as sexy as she looks.

Enter, the perfect LBD for me. Y'all know Target is my bff. I swear that store never lets me down. While browsing the clearance racks per usual, and I spot a simple black dress. In true ME fashion, I looked at the price tag before holding it up. $13.98 is what it read. See?! I told you Target is a true friend!

I went into the dressing room to try it on, and it fit like a glove!! Yaaaaasssssss!!

I knew right then and there, that I would pair it with my cute Kimono that I picked up for $4. Go'head and pick up your lip! LOL! It was truly $4. Yet another deal that I couldn't pass up. I love to try trends out for the low-low. No sense in paying a whole lot of money for something that you may not even like once the hype dies. *shrugs*. But this was a winner! I will be rocking this Kimono hunny!

Now back to this dress! The subtle high-low action at the bottom was the icing on the cake. I ran out of the store with this bad boy! Because with or without the Kimono, this dress gives major BODY!!

What y'all know bout that "Gone with the Wind" fabulous?! =D

Do you have an item of clothing, or a pair of shoes that just makes you feel super sexy? Do tell!!

Until next time...

Dress - Target

Kimono - H&M

Heels - Target

Consider me Clutched and Covered...

I hope you're all having a great weekend with awesome weather. It's been a little rainy here, but I plan to take advantage of every bit of sunshine possible. Yay Summer! Now on to the OOTD.

Who says big girls shouldn't wear white? Those same people probably say we shouldn't wear skinny jeans either. Tuh! Well, I'm about to get on some folks nerves with this one! Ask me if I care.

I have a confession: This "top" is actually supposed to be a dress from H&M. I saw it on the mannequin, and loved the color. I got the biggest size they had (large) and prayed that it fit. Welp, it fit... but not like the store intended!! I saw it as a nice, casual tunic type top and bought it as such. I always tell women, never write off a store because you don't think that the sizes work for you. You never know what gems you could be passing up! 

These jeans you ask? They're from Target. I copped them on clearance for a mere $8.98. They are super comfy and soft. My first pair of white skinny's! I will have to be sure that I don't wear them too often. I don't want any discoloration, or rubbing in the thigh area (dreaded chub rub). I swear, if they had another pair I would have bought them too! 

Now lets get to this clutch! My girl Rocquelle of Consider Me Lovely started a clutch cover company: www.clutchedandcovered.com. This beautiful, stylish woman took a DIY project of her own, and turned it into a business. Her clutch covers are all hand made to order and FAB-U-LOUS!! I'm telling y'all, Rocquelle is creative and talented. Visit my girls' shop and show her some love. I promise, you won't be disappointed.

Until next time...

My girl Whitney over at Whitney Nic James.com has a personal style link up! Head on over and see what it's all about! :)

Top - H&M

Jeans - Target

Wedges - Target

Clutch Cover - www.clutchedandcovered.com

Connect the Dots...

Happy Friday!! I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I LOVE the weekends!! There's just something about having the chance to rejuvenate after a long 5 days of work, work, work that makes me feel so good! :)

This was my OOTD last Saturday. The sun had finally come out, and the temps hit a little above 40, so naturally I had to show a lil leg. Ha!

This dress from H&M was perfect for dinner and drinks with my girls. My blue clutch was a no-brainer. I'm getting into taking pics with my bags now. That's new for me.

I was going to throw on a pair of simple black heels, when my leopard babies jumped out at me. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just leave them in the closet! They were perfect! I kept the accessories to a minimum because I feel like there's a lot going on here. A simple gold necklace and hoop earrings was all that I needed.

The dress is a little short for my normal taste, but as I said in my previous post, I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone. I'm enjoying it so far ;)

Until next time...

Dress - H&M  (I couldn't find the dress on their site for the life of me)

Clutch - Darby Smart (A DIY company)

Heels - Target